Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
