i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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