Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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