Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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