Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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