I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
