Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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