I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Come on in and take your pants off
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
