I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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