Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
