I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
