So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
