I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
