We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
