You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
