There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
