She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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