Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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