That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
