Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i think i just lost a toe
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
