He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Dignity is for republicans.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
