Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
