Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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