Christians are straight up FREAKS
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
