How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
