You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
