Kiss
Puke
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
