You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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