People in love make me want to vomit
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Randomize
