RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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