No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
