Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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