Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
