party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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