well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
