i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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