his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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