I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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