She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
