his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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