Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
