you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
