You can't special order awesome
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
