I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
