I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
