I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
