he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
