: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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