The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
