If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
