her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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