let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
