Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
