Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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