you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
