we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
