we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
